I hate your hair cut and I hate you...

On the way home from another day of kicking ass at physics I saw a man with a contender for the worst haircut in history on the tube. We're talking really bad, worse than fight with a lawnmower bad, this couldn't possibly have been an accident, someone who knew what they we doing must have perpetrated such a crime against hair, someone with real talent, they can't teach you how to cut hair that badly in school. So bad I couldn't even use my normal awesome 'what decade is that haircut from?' joke, this seemed to combine all the worst aspects of hair upkeep from the last 4 centuries and blend them all into one multi car pile up of a do.

First of all, this man had rubbish hair. I don't know how he did it, you must have to try very hard to keep hair in such a condition. It wasn't shiny, it wasn't matt, it had a strange luster about it, the same luster hair that hair might obtain if they left it out in the sun for about 3000 years, on Mercury, and then shot blasted it with powdered diamond. As if the effect desired was that of the hair of a cow, that would have been way better though.

There were 3 main problem areas with the hair:

The front, which was sculpted into some sort of horrible comb-over, which had somehow been done without creating a parting, someone had really gone for it on this one.

The side (I say side, I only had to see one side of the mans head, fortunately, who knows what horrors lay on the other side, I don't know how much more I could have taken, I would probably just have exploded if I had) didn't seem to have been styled at all, just as if someone without the aid of sight had used it to practice there scissor skills. Random clumps seemed to be missing in some places and in others some places seemed to have been forgotten all together.

The back, a mullet would have been an improvement, and not one of those kick ass 80's mullets like what Pat Sharpe had, one of the crappy trendy things people have these days where it looks somewhere along the line someone has forgotten to do something pretty crucial in the hair cutting process. This was the opposite, as if someone had grafted on a patchwork of small animal fur segments on to the back of his head, if you can imagine that, which you probably can't, this was one of those see it to believe it things.

And now I'm sitting here writing about how shit it was when I should be writing an essay. Your haircut is that bad it's costing me my degree. Great. Thanks a lot.