I hate your hair cut and I hate you...

On the way home from another day of kicking ass at physics I saw a man with a contender for the worst haircut in history on the tube. We're talking really bad, worse than fight with a lawnmower bad, this couldn't possibly have been an accident, someone who knew what they we doing must have perpetrated such a crime against hair, someone with real talent, they can't teach you how to cut hair that badly in school. So bad I couldn't even use my normal awesome 'what decade is that haircut from?' joke, this seemed to combine all the worst aspects of hair upkeep from the last 4 centuries and blend them all into one multi car pile up of a do.

First of all, this man had rubbish hair. I don't know how he did it, you must have to try very hard to keep hair in such a condition. It wasn't shiny, it wasn't matt, it had a strange luster about it, the same luster hair that hair might obtain if they left it out in the sun for about 3000 years, on Mercury, and then shot blasted it with powdered diamond. As if the effect desired was that of the hair of a cow, that would have been way better though.

There were 3 main problem areas with the hair:

The front, which was sculpted into some sort of horrible comb-over, which had somehow been done without creating a parting, someone had really gone for it on this one.

The side (I say side, I only had to see one side of the mans head, fortunately, who knows what horrors lay on the other side, I don't know how much more I could have taken, I would probably just have exploded if I had) didn't seem to have been styled at all, just as if someone without the aid of sight had used it to practice there scissor skills. Random clumps seemed to be missing in some places and in others some places seemed to have been forgotten all together.

The back, a mullet would have been an improvement, and not one of those kick ass 80's mullets like what Pat Sharpe had, one of the crappy trendy things people have these days where it looks somewhere along the line someone has forgotten to do something pretty crucial in the hair cutting process. This was the opposite, as if someone had grafted on a patchwork of small animal fur segments on to the back of his head, if you can imagine that, which you probably can't, this was one of those see it to believe it things.

And now I'm sitting here writing about how shit it was when I should be writing an essay. Your haircut is that bad it's costing me my degree. Great. Thanks a lot.

Free minutes...

No, not a statement of my new found oxygen based mobile phone freedom, but a declaration of the fact that the next 46 minutes of my life I'm effectively getting for jazz all. I put them in Father Time's dusty old closet where he keeps his old shoes, illicit moonshine and indecent imagery, forgot about it, and now I have it back. So alas, let's make the most of it! Only happens once a year after all, what will you do with your hour? Probably sleep, you sensible people!

Rave it up in a free time area!!!!!

How strange...

As I haven't done a blog, or blogged in verb form, in ages, I thought it would ease myself in with a list of some sort. I really like lists me. Research on lists would reveal that they were devised in 1967 by Mick Jagger who at first charged forty seven pence per list creation and sold them as 'the original direct system for writing many things without prose', however in the early 80's he had a fit of kindness and decided to make them free of charge, except of course lists made with pictures instead of bullet points, but no one uses those, because it makes you look like a spaz. "I had all these thoughts in my head but I just couldn't find a way to collate them in a useful manner." Mick was quoted as saying on the subject. Anyway, on with the points.

Here is my list of some things that are/were/will be in future, in fact, mental:

- Nothing. The thing about nothing is, well, it's nothing, it isn't actually a thing you see. Anytime one thinks of nothing, it becomes a something, looses it's status as nothing and one ceases to be thinking of nothing. This is all instantaneously infered so it is, in fact, impossible to imagine nothing, how metaphysically nuts is that. So did this list item refer to nothing or not? And what does that mean for the status of the item, if I wasn't talking about nothing, it must have been talking about something, and that isn't mental at all, so does that render these sentances pointless, that's up to you...

- Butterflys taste with their feet, crazy bastards: "Imagine that, it would certainly make a chinese buffet more interesting!" Voiced a stunned Mick Jagger when he found out.

- That today is Sunday. Back in the day, someone just decided on the days of the week and at somepoint the seven day week was chosen and a day was designated and the next few hundred thousand seventh days were designated as Sunday. What if the 6th of May 2007 really wanted to be a Tuesday, I bet he was gutted when he found out. Imagine the implications if today had been a Tuesday. I would have had to have gone to lectures an that, but I didn't, just because of one, or several choices back in the day. Mick Jagger was recently heard to loudly remark: "But, what if this was Wednesday, imagine the posibilities!" To suprised onlookers on the London Underground.

- Socks, there's always been something not quite right about socks.

- That two people can 'invent' the same thing independently without knowing the other had done it. Does that mean that they discovered what they devised and it has always had the potential to exist, does that mean it has always existed, and that the universe contains the information of everything that can exist, and if so where does this information come from in a big bang model of the universe? Does this have profound implications on destiny and/or fate? Is this argument a load of toss? Etc.

- Insane people.

- The question: "what language do deaf people think in?" In a recent public information broadcast Mick Jagger said: "Don't do drugs kids, just think about that and you'll be out of it for hours, when I first thought about it, I just sat there tripping out for about 3 days."

- Wave-particle duality, how can it be a particle AND a wave?

- Infinity. It's more than anything you can ever imagine, anything possible, it's big, very big, massive, bloody huge, gargantuan in fact. Surely everything has an end, string, road, kit kat, fence, magnet, but not infinity, that just goes on, and on, and on. "But how can it be infinitly large, there can be no outside to something infinitly big, so it must be everything, so everything must be infinite, but that would make there be just one thing that encompassed everything, would that make it finite?" Is emanent thinker Mick Jagger's confusing take on the subject.

Is this over? I hope so, I can't stand lists.

Who were the people that attacked me? What did they want, I'm leaving.

True beauty...

Although I'm absolutely sure that the sum of beauty over the entire universe is infinite and that its an absolutely amazing place to be. I still get taken aback almost constantly by how amazing some of the things in it actually look.

The moon over Andromeda

If that doesn't affect you in some sort of deep way then either I am mental or you are a bit dead on the inside. I love the universe, it's acetatsic, there really is no where else I would rather be.

Rave it up in a cosmic area!

Humanity

Humanity started 13.7 billion years ago when the universe was born out of a cosmic fireball in which a chain of events would be set in motion that would encompass and govern everything that has, is and ever will happen.

Humanity started 4.5 billion years ago when this very planet was forged in a fiery sea around a body that still burns brightly in the skies this very day.

Humanity started 3.5 billion years ago as the elements that give us the life we cherish today were drawn from the rocks we stand on. The perfect blend of atoms and molecules were distilled into a plentiful form that begun to allow sparks of existence to grow and thrive.

Humanity started 70,000 year ago when the last genetic mutation occurred and the human genome locked into place. The seasons of life change for ever as the first mother gives birth first to the first homo sapien child.

Humanity started 6000 years ago when the first people began to harness the powers the earth had given them and extract the fuel in place in the very soils beneath our feet. Agriculture begins in what we call the middle east in the fertile crescent and begins to spread like wildfire along it's length.

Humanity started 255 years ago when Benjamin Franklin first began to suspect that the human race could harness the power of electricity and a new blood began to flow through our veins, but the blood was electrons and the veins were wires and a whole new revolution was set in motion.

Humanity started 102 years ago when Einstein transcribed (or at least began to) the equations that describe the relationship between the two most fundamental qualities in the universe, mass and energy and hint at a new power that we might be one day able to access and provide an almost limitless source of energy at our fingertips.

Humanity started 45 years ago when a commander somewhere in the US military unkowingly started the greatest communication revolution the world has ever known, the internet, which places information and communication within easy grasp of every human being with access to a computer.

Humanity started 20 minutes ago when I started this blog.

Humanity started when I realized that there are a lot of things wrong with the world we live in.

Humanity starts each and everytime another person who feels like the millions of other people out there who have had enough with the norm, had enough with the status quo that keeps our world the same despite how bad its getting and little is being done about things which actually matter, had enough with not being properly represented by a leader who can actually lead.

Humanity starts when people who want to change the world for the better realize they can harness the power of the internet, the power of the nuclear revolution and electricity to change the world we live in that was created all that time ago from material created in the big bang at the start of time itself.

Humanity starts when all these people get together and stand up and speak out against the ingnorance and greed of the people who for some reason have inherited the power in this world.

Humanity starts when the world begins to change and people start being humans again. In a world where the masses are actually represented. Where there are no imaginary boundaries between people, no prejudices, no barriers, no rules. Where each person is the same, has the same chances and the same opportunities to take those chances that were given to them at every one of those junctions described above.

Humanity starts hopefully tomorrow, because quite frankly, I've had enough.

Second.....

In a sort of circular logic and compulsory way I agree.

You make a good point. The universe is something we can never truly comprehend, unfortunately, as we just aren't hard wired in the right way to understand its basic properties, so we will probably just never know. The Earth will eventually boil into the sea of fire we call the surface of the sun. The sun will end up a sad lonely ball of rust streaked with nitrogen ice just precession around for eternity. But still, how depressing would it be if our race used its one chance at existing just to throw away the earth. Fair enough, in the end its just another blue green planetoid, like all the other ones. The two key factors are:

1) Every species has managed to keep going without changing the entire balance of nature, how depressing would it be if we were the ones to piss it all away.
2) beaus the Universe is so fucking huge, we can't find another one.

But on to the agreement part. We have some much more deep rooted problems as a race, these I will probably end up writing a blog about someday which will be no doubt full of grammar and spelling erros like like the last one and probably this one. The problem with the environment is just one of the many manifestations of these. However, it turns out to be possibly the most important one. We can't really sit down around the table and resolve our differences, because it looks to be that we just don't have the time. Biodiversity is careering to a halt and bits are falling off Canada. We definitely need to stop killing each other:

1) Because it's just stupid.
2) We need to divert the mind boggling amount of money we spend on death to changing the world for the better, ie fixing all the problems we've caused.

We can worry about politics, religion and society for the next few billion years until the sun runs out of Hydrogen and casts off its outer layers in a temporary death throw before it moves on to its next stage of existence, true none of those things will actually matter then, but still. But only if we give ourselves the chance. Our bodies are pretty crap at surviving, if there is no water and no cool havens for us left to reside, we will slowly die, just like so many other already have done. Is it a good way to go? No, it definitely isn't. It's just not worth it.

At the moment, we're not doing to well for ourselves. Sure we have 65 nanometer transistors and internal combustion engines but that won't mean shit when the water is rising and you're house is on fire. The only alternative to not putting in some effort to helping the planet is the death of the human race, in an extreme way this is true I guess. So I guess we better start clearing up after ourselves a little.

On Oceans...

Our oceans have gone to shit.

How have we managed as a race to be so overwhelmingly, jaw droppingly bad. If we were to think of a person who is dead and gone from the history books what would we think of? What that person left behind, there legacy, there long lasting scar on the fabric of space and time that effects and peturbs life around them for years to come. When we are all dead and gone, what will our legacy be? Unfortunately all that will matter is the attrocity that has become our planet. Think about it, when you die it doesn't mean shit if you have a Ferrari or a Rolex, you can't take it with you, most people know that, they don't spend their life's worrying about the material in the world. So why are we doing this with our planet?

Our planet is, or at least was staggeringly beautiful. If one man could see it's whole ever reaching and almost infinite wonder I believe it would effect them in such a deep way they would never be the same. So why are we so ignorant to it. This vast cradle of life, a haven of possibility in a universe of nothing. 70 percent of the surface of Earth is water, only 98 percent of that is drinkable. Put a person in a hot room, leave them fo a few hours, what will we demand over all else, water. It is us, we cannot live without it, the stuff of life, most of it a relic of a distant explosion aeons ago (the big bang). A substance so pure and perfect, why would anyone want to forsake this amazing gift? How good is it to be in the water, it feels so natural and glorious, but most of our oceans you wouldn't want to be in, because it would scorch your skin and fill you're blood with a neuro toxin just as bad as nerve agents. You're stomach would be filled with plastic debris so there was no room for food and you're throat choked by putrid slime. How have we come to jus throw away such a blessing, why does it seem to be inherent in our nature to just take and take and take? I just don't get it!!!

I'm not going to preach about how you all have to go out and recycle and not eat fish, but do use common sense for once, please. I'm going to do the opposite. Any company/corporation who has ever put any waste into or in a position to enter a water system I hate you. Any employee, CeO, paper pucher at any of these companies, I hate you. It is your fault, you have all contributed. This amazing blessing we can only have once and you have in some way contibuted to pissing it all way. Anyone who knowingly puts litter in anysort of water, stream, river, delta, the sea, a puddle, anything, I hate you. The people in LA that cause miles and miles of pure rubbish to clog the LA river. I hate you. I hate you all, I would gladly see you wiped off the face of the planet, you don't deserve to enjoy its amazing wonder if you are going to do that. I'm part of the human race and from now on I will take it personally when anyone does anything to contribute to this problem. I may not be perfect either but goddammit I've changed my mind, Never again. Never again, this has gone to far.

Trains and jazz...

Train travel in this country is shit. Well, the actual travelling bit isn't that bad to be fair, you get on the train, it moves, so do you, hopefully anyway, and then you get off where you want to, which is what happens in the majority of cases. It's arriving at this situation I have a problem with. First of all, you try and book a ticket. What you could do, is use one of the services that has a database of all journeys you can possibly make in the whole country. Almost immediately things go wrong. There are about 78 different types of ticket for each one of these journeys, almost all mind bogglingly expensive. The one that was cheap sold out before the coming to the messiah because they only allocate half a seat to it just so they can say from cheap on all the posters. The ones that are affordable involve an 18 hour journey via the sea and the rest are way out of the price range for most of us normal lot. It is more expensive for me to travel by standard class than first half of the time because the system seems to be have been designed with the same ammount of logic held by a nut.

Ok, so I've comprimised, I've made the decision to pay a stupid amount of money to go somewhere, for some reason. I want to buy my ticket. Oh I can't. I have to buy the ticket from train company. Oh, ok, so now I have to try, just try, it may take several attempts and possibly a few weeks of man hours to find it again. Finally the last hurdle is in sight, but then, you have to register just to buy a train ticket. Why do we have to register our details and put ourselves at he prey of the useless data protection act just to buy a train ticket? It's madness, and if you're lucky when you've registered and the confirmation email has got past you're spam filter, which only exists because we have to register for everything so we get loads of crap in our inboxes you'll get linked to what you want to buy so you don't have to find it, AGAIN! To accentuate the problem chances are if you don't want to go to London you'll have to change to a different train operator, or many different ones, so you'll have to do this again, or perhaps 2, 3 or maybe even 4 times! I think this is the main problem, our rail services are split up and run by so may different companies, and none of them, in my experience, not one, are any good. None of them seem to offer a service that is particularly good, let alone good enough to pay the over inflated price charged for it.

Howeverm perhaps times will change for the better. This christmas we saw the fall of GNER, who have pulled out from the east coast mainline, good, quite frankly, I'd be suprised if it can get much worse. If pieces of it are bought by other companies this is a good thing, as it reduces the ludicrous ammount of operators in this country. And then who knows, maybe one of them will do something sensible. Sell train travel at a reasonable cost so half the seats arn't empty. Sell tickets where people arn't actually restricted to travelling at shit times and not moving between place to place. Introduce some felixibilty. Some userbility. Something that actually lets human beings act like human beings. Conectivity. Logic. Simplicity. Centralised travel that lets people do just that, not just run up against wall after wall against it. After all, they will only make money by having people use the rails, so why does the whole system seem to be geared to be keeping people in cars and planes? Merry Christmas GNER, let you're shambolic rule over the east coast mainline end as swiftly and pleasently as possible, good riddance and hopefully greetings to a new era of sensible train travel.

Or then again, maybe not, maybe we need to do it ourselves.... But that is a different story for a whole different day.

Train travel is great, but lets let people actually get to do that again.

Blogging time...

Duna duna duna duna Blogging, and all that. Just thought I'd start a blog on Blogger. Not much is going on right now. There's two blokes sitting next to me having a very fast conversation across the table though.

If you could smell language, what would it be like?

I love the internet me, its great, its full of rubbish, dirty old men looking at cheap smut, peoples opinions and possibly a rich, if tiny, seam of useful information, if your lucky. The internet was invented by computers, which were invented by racoons, which weren't invented, they have always been. As can be clearly be seen in the television show the racoons. Maybe, it was a bloody good tv show though, they don't make them like they used to. The internet was originally designed so computers could discuss the general subject area of there favourite passtime, morris dancing. Computers make the internet in sweatshops in Guildford. In the furture the internet will consist entirely of constants and will taste like rubber.

Thats enough for now, and possibly for ever. Cheerio.